Season 3, Episode 47: Marriage, Money & More!

Season 3, Episode 47

Nicole:

Hey, everyone, I am ready to chat with y’all because today’s chat is going to be one for the record books. I found out that you all love, love, love, love when I have this guest in. This guest is the top rated most popular guest we have ever had in the room chatting with us and he is back again. And I’m super excited to share the Misterfella. Hey Alex.

Alex:
Hey Nicole…

Nicole:

<laughs> 

I love Why are you laughing? It’s true.

Alex:
<laughs>

I love having me here. I really do.

Nicole:

Oh, but he’s gonna do stuff like this. This is what happens. This is the energy. Look, this is a real job. And he literally, literally is like, Oh, you’re going into work today? This is your podcast voice. What do I sound like to you? What do you think I’m doing when I come in?

Alex:

It’s like thank you so much, everyone for being here. It’s so special. You know, it’s just I can’t even recreate it.

Nicole:

Oh my gosh, if this is your first time joining for one of our chats, Alex is my boyfriend of over a year, and the love of my life.

Alex:

Facts, facts

Nicole:

Light of my world, light of my life.

Alex:

<sings together>

Light of my life

Nicole:

He is going to be my second husband in a series of three to 5.

Alex:

Facts.

Nicole:

Oh you like that part in a series of three to five, that second and last right?

Alex:

Oh, I didn’t hear that part, nah.

Nicole:

Shut that down. Put that down. He’s like, he’s going to be my second husband. I’m very excited to be married to this incredible man someday. But that said, I’m really excited to have him here. If you haven’t heard our previous chats, we have made announcements about our growth in our relationship. He’s been here to just chat about what it’s like when we started our relationship and how we got together to begin with.

And he’s also been here talking about his business and sharing some of what he’s learned in the past. But today, we are doing a Q and A. Why? Because if you follow along on my instagram at Nicole Walters, it’s at Nicole Walters all over social. You’ve been keeping up with our hijinx, whether it is you know, the tinies painting his toenails or him learning the worm.

Alex:
Oh I did the worm.

Nicole:
You did, objectively, it was really good. You were exhausted. You got to stop trying to keep up with kid.

Alex:
I almost hurt myself.

Nicole:
Yes you did! You forget you getting old, that over 30 life.

Alex:

My knees, my back.

Nicole:
Your knees. So, you know, we’re sharing our hijinx, the things we’re doing, how we’re learning and loving together. So if you want to keep up, head over to Instagram, where you can catch all of that. But today, we are taking questions from y’all that have come in around what you want to know. Now, I have to tell you, I’m not gonna lie. It is uncomfortable sharing my relationship like this. I think a lot of people think that, you know, oh my gosh, you share so much or you put a lot out there. But the truth is, I keep a lot to myself. I really, really do. And I just, I don’t know how to share. I’m excited and I love being in love. But it is weird talking about you. I’m not gonna lie.

Alex:
Is it weird?

Nicole:
It is. It is like this being like, Oh, I’m just gonna take questions and whatever. But I also am so proud of you. And I’m like excited too. Because, so here’s what happens. And y’all know this because you know, you send me the messages but people tell me that our relationship gives them hope.

Alex:

I mean, I’m glad that it does that for people.

Nicole:
Yeah, that’s like the number one thing people say is like, they have gone through divorce or…

Alex:
Yeah I’ve seen some of those comments.

Nicole:

Yeah, where it’s like, and they have kids or they’re older, you know, because as y’all know, I’m no spring chicken. I’m a seasoned chicken. And…

Alex:
I mean, nobody wants plain chicken. <laughs>

Nicole:
Nobody wants plain chicken – that’s why I love you! That’s right, baby. And so when people say you know, seeing someone with three kids going through a divorce and you know someone with a strong personality, and they’re just like, it’s just nice to see that you can find someone who treats you well and all that.

So I’m happy to share it because as you all know, I’m always really big on turning back God is out here still in the blessing business and doing great things. So that said, let’s get to some of these questions, because then I have questions on my own.

Alex:
Uh oh.

Nicole:

No, they’re good! So to catch people up, we’ll just do the quick ones over how do we meet?

Alex:

We met, we met on Bumble.

Nicole:

We met on the internet apps, hey, Bumble if you’re looking to sponsor a podcast, this, this might be the one be the one. We met on Bumble. And on our first date, if you guys didn’t hear about our first date, I talked about that in a previous chat. You can find the details in the show notes. But we met on Bumble and when we met on Bumble, we went on that first date and how did I feel about you? And how did you feel about me, sir?

Alex:

Well, as we have previously discussed on the episode, we clearly felt different at the time. I was… 

Nicole:

But you don’t believe that?

Alex:
I don’t. I don’t I thinkit was good vibes. We had a good time. And apparently, you almost walked out several times.

Nicole:

I did, I did, I’m telling y’all if you have not listened to that chat, you should because it’s a good one. Definitely, almost walked out. But I’m glad I didn’t.

Alex:

I also am that.

Nicole:
But yeah, and then, you know, little by little over time, I introduced you to my tinies and all my peoples and now we are what’s crazy, it’s like, I feel like fairly quickly, but not like weirdly quickly, but fairly quickly. We did all the relationshipy things, you know, like meeting my people.

It was a while before he met my kids who are kind of like, well into the relationship at that point. In time, there’s a good amount of time, but yeah, I mean, you met the wasband, you know, like you really did meet everybody. And then, now I mean, like I don’t even know if there really are any other milestones. Like what comes next? I mean.

Alex:

I mean that’s everyone.

Nicole:

Now we’re just in our daily life, which is, I guess what’s fun about this chat, because we’ll talk about that.

Alex:

It’s our daily life.

Nicole:
I’m going to tell you and I’m going to be really candid when I talked about this two episodes ago about fighting fair, you know, and about how I think almost like, literally every other chat, I’ve been talking about how you annoyed me in something. You know, I was like the other day, but here’s the thing. And I’ll tell you though, you didn’t listen. You didn’t hear last week’s chat yet. 

Alex:
Oh, God, what?

Nicole:

Well, so I talked about how you get on my nerves, even when you get on my nerves…

Alex:

Yeah, you came in and said this.

Nicole:
I can’t get mad because I’ll be like, Oh, he’s so hot. Oh, he’s so cute. And like all this stuff. And like, I love him so much. But like you do get on my nerves. That’s like, and it’s weird, because I don’t remember you getting on my nerves when we first got together.

Alex:

It’s funny because I felt the same way. I didn’t remember you get on my nerves either yet here we are!

Nicole:
You’re saying that sarcastically.

Alex:
It’s happening currently! I’m just kidding!

Nicole:
The reason you don’t remember is it doesn’t happen because it doesn’t happen.

Alex:
Oh, is that, is that true?

Nicole:

So why is that just like a relationship thing? Or is it because we spend more time together now or the daily mundane? What do you think is the reason?

Alex:

Why sometimes we get on each other’s nerves?

Nicole:
Yeah, I mean, you’re the professional boyfriend!

Alex:
That’s life!

Nicole:
Y’all if you don’t know this, he’s a professional boyfriend. Like I have not had a lot of relationships at all.

Alex:
I’ve had several long term relationships. So I am dubbed as the professional boyfriend.

Nicole:

And you’re very good at boyfriend-ing. You are, you’re an excellent boyfriend!

Alex:
I’ve got experience under my belt. <laughs>

Nicole:

You are an excellent boyfriend! You’re very good at it. Like y’all. He’s thoughtful. He’s considerate. He’s kind. He’s empathetic. Like, these are all really true things. I just say them, like independent of his actual personality.

Alex:
<laughs>

Nicole:

I like your personality! It’s my favorite thing. I like it. Like you suits me. Your my type!

Alex:

Again, it’s like the thing you say no offense, but it’s like, but that’s the thing.

Nicole:
No but serious. I’m serious. So, but you are so good at the act of boyfriending, like you’re so good at it like, and I feel so I feel really blessed to be like, the beneficiary of that.

Alex:
Well, I’m good. I’m good at it. I think I’m better at it with you because I want to be better at it with you. You know, yeah, I want to go out of my way and do those things for you or, you know, be there for you in those ways, because I love you.

Nicole:

Oh I love you too. That’s sweet. I like that.

Alex:
I was this way to an extent I think with my past partners, but not as much.

Nicole:

Do you think that your exes would even believe who you are now?

Alex:
Oh, no.

Nicole:
Really?

Alex:

I mean, I’m still me.

Nicole:
Not mister night and day, switching it up!

Alex:

It’s not night day per se.

Nicole:

Oh, tell me more about that.

Alex:

Not night and day but you know like I’ve matured in a lot of ways.

Nicole:

Yes we all have right? You know I don’t know if the was-band would recognize me. Oh we get real rea, I don’t know if the was-band would recognize me being completely honest like because I am I mean honestly all of y’all who are on social you talk about it all the time the number one of the number one comments they make about like, our relationship is Nicole, it feels so good to see you so happy. You are so joyful, like, and we’ve been together a while now. And it’s not this is not like a 60 days, three month fling, whatever, you still make me so happy.

Like I’m, I’m happy when I talk about you. I’m like, smiley whenever I go. But even if I think about I’m just like, Yeah, it’s like a little surge. I literally have had medical evidence that you’re like good for my spirit. So my previous, you know, partnerships that I’ve been in. I’m not kidding, high blood pressure, right? When I go to the doctor’s office, and I’m trying to do my blood pressure reading I think about you. And when they take my blood pressure, it actually is like lower it goes down. They have like seen it drop as I am thinking about you. Isn’t that crazy?

Alex:
Think about that next time you get upset at me.

Nicole:
No, wait!

Alex:
This man is good for my health!

Nicole:
It does not feel like that in the moment, in that moment, because you’re always leaving the shower door open. <laughs> Do you think that that’s like what I think that’s probably like, it’s weird. It’s you’re not messy. You’re actually really especially considering that you’re not naturally like, automatically, like tidy. You’re really good about keeping things the way they are, like you do okay with that. But you have like certain habits.

Alex:
Yeah. I mean, everyone’s got certain little things. You know what I mean? When you live in when you live with somebody? Right? You know what I mean? Like those things come out. And you see them in their daily lives. And yeah, people got habits and things. Yeah, but like, you know, I mean, you’ve you’ve seen how I live before wasn’t the cleanliness.

Nicole:
Which is also crazy. First talk about that. Yeah, you want a truth moment?

Alex:

Yeah!

Nicole:
You’re really wow, really? Oh, no, whenever people like, see how you live now, you know, like, like, how we live and whenever they are, like, aware of my living habits like how, you know, tidy I am and stuff. They’re always like, wow, you’re like so clean now, Alex? That’s like a regular comment people make by like, the cleanliness of your life now.

Alex:

Yeah. Because like, I mean, I was proud of where I lived before. Ya know what I mean by that? Because that’s the thing for me. I’m like, it.

Nicole:

It was a nice building.

Alex:
It was a nice building. You know, it was like, a nicer, nice amenities, a nice amenities. You know what I mean? And I was proud of the square footage of the place, but like, at the same time, like, I don’t know, I just didn’t. I didn’t know what nice was, I didn’t know what real cleanliness was.

Nicole:

Do you think that you live better with girlfriends? Overall? Like, are you someone who you think is prone to partnership?

Alex:
I think I do better in partnership.

Nicole:

Really? Tell me more about that.

Alex:
Yeah, I think I’m better in a partnership or when I’m held accountable.

Nicole:

Really, tell me more about that. What do you think a partnership affords you, that helps you be better?

Alex:

Well, at the end of the day, if we both come home from work, and sit on the couch and be like, how was your day and I say, oh, you know, I just play video games all day, or I just whatever, that’s not going to sound or feel very good. But at the end of the day, if I can, if I can come back be like, Yeah, I got some really good practice done, I accomplished this and this and that. It feels good to be able to say that to my partner. You know what I mean? It’s kind of, like, you know.

Nicole:

So that’s how you think like, a partnership gives you an accountability person that you aspire to be better with?

Alex:

Yeah, I mean, especially somebody like you, you work, you work so hard all the time.

Nicole:
I appreciate you.

Alex:

And I don’t think that you would even want to be with somebody who like, after working so hard, and you come home and be like, I just, you know, I had a VIP day and I did this and this call and this contract. And I can’t and I’d be like yeah, I played some Super Smash Brothers, you know, watch couple shows, you know, that’s not gonna go well.

Nicole:
Yeah, it’s definitely not a turn on. Not a turn on. And, you know, I mean, I’ve definitely redefined what is important to me. And that is not a behavior that I tolerate.

Alex:

Right. I mean, you know, especially with having, you know, Ally around.

Nicole:
Yeah being a good example, you know.

Alex:
I mean. You’re an amazing example, but I also want to be one in my own in my own right. So I want to, I want to work hard. So, you know, set my own examples like, but it’s true. It’s the stuff that you do when nobody’s watching. Yeah, that really counts.

Nicole:
Yes. Oh, speaking of stuff you do, we have these Q and A’s that are so good. I mean, we could literally just chat. Alright, so when you look back, I guess the question for both of us when you look and reflect on your life is this where you see yourself careers, relationships, all that stuff? Do you want to go first?

Alex:
No. <laughs>

Nicole:
Really?! Because you wanted to be a trombone player since you were a wee bit little baby.

Alex:

Yeah, I’ve always wanted to be a trombone player.

Nicole:
So that’s the only part that’s right? <laughs>

Alex:

I’ve always wanted to do music. I’ve always wanted to do music. I knew that much.

Nicole:
When did you know that because that was another question. Someone said, When did you know that you wanted to do music

Alex:
Okay we’ll combine them.

Nicole:
Yeah, combine them, smush them together.

Alex:

Sure. I mean, I, I’ve always known I wanted to do music. I mean, I started playing piano when I was five. And I was in band growing up and I’ve just always really gravitated to music. And I got really competitive with my older brother because he got put in lessons.

Nicole:

Does he do music?

Alex:
He used to. He was a very good pianist. And he used to be a very good drummer. Like he was a very talented drummer. He did drum corps.

Nicole:
And big deal. Shout out DCI.

Alex:

Wow! Yeah. Look at you dropping terms, dropping names.

Nicole:
Like a pro.

Alex:

Look at you! You see one field show and you’re a pro.

Nicole:

I know nothing about that, y’all. This is what it looks like to be a supportive girlfriend. Like, right, we like the drums! So you always know you wanted to play.

Alex:
I always knew I wanted to do music. And…

Nicole:
So that part’s consistent with you know…

Alex:

That part is consistent with my life. Now, I did envision myself doing a lot of the things I wanted to do. But it took some turns along the way. You know, like, you know, even in college I ended up changing my major to there was a major called professional music major, which is just…

Nicole:
But you went to Berklee School of Music so isn’t that everyone’s major? <laughs>

Alex:
Exactly. Exactly. It’s okay, if I graduate with a degree in professional music Am I declared a professional musician? Like, what does that mean?

Nicole:

Because there are also people who have never right?

Alex:

And so anyway, so you know, when I was like, I’m playing trombone, regardless, I’m playing in this band, and then doing sessions and stuff like that. But, you know, let me learn something else while I’m here. And I kind of had an interest in film music. And so I started taking beginner film scoring classes and stuff like that. And I ended up getting my major in film composition.

Nicole:

And you scored some films before.

Alex:
I’ve scored some films, I’ve done shorts. I’ve worked for music, libraries, and done sync licensing stuff.

Nicole:
What is sync licensing, because we’re regular people.

Alex:
So sync licensing is just creating tracks that capture specific moods, or topics. And you create a library. So I can create a library of things that capture action/adventure, things that capture…

Nicole:

For what? It’s the background music and the way I always describe what you do to people, because y’all know this. And every single girl out there is going to understand this when you’re dating somebody, you kind of know what they do, but you don’t know what they do. Right? So you like come up with a context to try to explain, I’m always like, okay, so you know, like, like, when you’re like watching Law and Order, and Olivia opens a door, and it’s the crime scene and you hear that in the background, and then all of a sudden, body, like, you know?

Alex:

Or like they go on, they go on… Not the sound effects but you almost got it.

Nicole:
The music that would make you feel uncomfortable.

Alex:

Yeah, that makes feel uncomfortable, or like, you know, they go on a car chase, and they play some rock music for like this car chase, that music could have been created for a library and the music supervisors for the show will go into certain libraries. They’ll go through a catalogue of all they’re like, Okay, we want a rock song. Let’s go to this library. And let’s, let’s look at they have like 100 different rock songs from 12 different composers, and they just go through and they’re like, Okay, like this one. Let’s use this for our scene. Now that composer gets paid for every time it gets played on television.

Nicole:
Which is dope. We love that residual recurring residual income.

Alex:
Mailbox money, baby!

Nicole:
And an even better, I think that now a lot of us are familiar with this, because it’s kind of like tick tock. When you create your content, you’re scrolling through looking for a sound that matches up with the feeling of what you’re watching. Right? It’s that but on a professional, much bigger scale.

Alex:

Right? So my life doesn’t look the same. It looks the same in terms of me doing music, it looks a lot different in terms of me, you know, having a home life and you know, stepkids.

Nicole:
Yeah.

Alex:
And, you know, trying to wrap my brain around, trying to balance a home life that I you know, I knew I wanted it but I didn’t know if I would ever have it.

Nicole:

OH! Tell me about that. You thought you wouldn’t have a home life?

Alex:
I didn’t know if I would have a spouse or if I would settle down. I don’t know if I was ever gonna have kids.

Nicole:
Did you know you wanted to get married someday?

Alex:
I mean, someday, but you know, I always do. It’s just always on the grind of hustling gig to gig. What kind of schedule? It’s hard to date.

Nicole:
But you were a professional boyfriend. What do you mean it was hard to date?

Alex:

I mean, yeah, I was boyfriend thing, but the priority was always the music. The priority wasn’t, you know, establishing home life and, you know. There’s a different balance I’m trying to strike now because I’m a little older and my priorities have shifted. And so now I’m trying to balance you know, gigging, and music and work and home life and the kids and just like…

Nicole:
How’s that going for you?

Alex:
It’s going great!

Nicole:

Yeah, it’s good.

Alex:
It feels really good. Especially because I am, you know, I enjoy Ally and Dahlia, you know, and like, it’s, it’s, it’s nice to have them around. And you know, I want to be around. So I’m not really trying to hop gig to gig to gig, which is what I thought I would do, right in the beginning, I’m like, I could do this forever. This is so much fun.

Nicole:
You enjoyed it.

Alex:
I enjoyed it. But now I’m like, I want to be around, I want to be home, I want to be present in the household, as well as you know, pursue professional milestones and things, you know, and establish my career, you know, and do more sync licensing, and do more writing and composing.

Nicole:
So you’re working for yourself now but in a more at home traditional setting.

Alex:

Yeah. And more at home.

Nicole:
But you have a studio.

Alex:
Yeah and it’s hardly traditional, I guess. <laughs>

Nicole:
Yeah, not I mean, nothing about our life is.

Alex:
Nothing is.

Nicole:
Which I think is funny, because we’ve kind of come to terms with I think at the very beginning, we were both kind of try to try to hold on to some semblance of well we still want to do things the right way or a certain way or wanted to look a certain way, or we want to hit these traditional marks. But we’ve kind of given up and said you know what, like, I’m a divorcee. I’ve got three kids, I adopted them to my kids are older, like, it’s just, one went to rehab one had stage four cancer, like, we met on the internet. You’re a musician, like it’s look, we are a hot mess bag of wonderful. Yeah, we’re just going to live and do the best we can to just, you know, honor our gifts and show up in a big way and just be happy.

Alex:
Yeah. And you know, I’m glad the way things are turning out and I’m happy to be doing, you know, everything I’m doing in home life and professional and, you know, certain doors are opening and, you know, I knew things would work out because there’s no other option.

Nicole:

That’s right. So that no other option that’s a big, like, I would honestly say that in our household, we have a couple of values. You know what I mean? Like, one is like, take care of your skin. Skincare is a high value in our household.

Alex:
We do.

Nicole:
We all value skincare. We exfoliate. We moisturize, like that’s really important, too. I would say we generally care about like our health and our bodies, you know, like so we’re just not reckless about I mean, you’re better than I am like you.

Alex:

<laughs> But it’s not gonna matter.

Nicole:
What was that laugh?

Alex:
Because it’s not gonna matter. You’re still gonna look better than me in the long run.

Nicole:

<laughs> I love you for that doesn’t matter. And literally, it’s so annoying. He goes to the gym daily, like, I mean, he like I would say no less than three times a week. Sometimes it’s often as five times a week. And he is so so good. And he’s at the gym, y’all for like two hours and nobody is there for two hours. What are you even doing? You know what I mean? But he’s like, oh, like I did this. I did that. Like he is so good about it. And like protein shakes and pre workout and like, he does all the things to take care of himself and like stay hot, and I literally will be home eating chicken. I’m not lying. I am not lying to y’all.

Alex:

And I’m like that’s my baby. <laughs>

Nicole:

No, he’s like, that’s enough chicken and when we going to the gym, like you know, like, balance, but um, but we always joke about the fact that like, between skincare and Botox, I’m going to look like this forever. It’s just like, but I love you.

Alex:
I love you.

Nicole:
I love you. You keep at it, baby.

Alex:

Thank you.

Nicole:
You look good to me. I appreciate and receive you. So, next question, what has been your favorite part of our journey with each other?

Alex:

Favorite part?

Nicole:
Yeah, I don’t know. Like, do you do you think of this is like, singular experience? Or just the know the I guess part of the journey is like, what what you’ve enjoyed about being together? Oh, my gosh, that’s so good, a good question.

Alex:
What I’ve enjoyed about being together…

Nicole:
It feels good to think about it.

Alex:

Yeah, I mean, there’s a lot of really good things that have you know, that I’ve really enjoyed being with you. There’s so many things that I’ve gotten, like out of being with you. I’ve improved, you know, like my life vastly just my time management. You know, time management alone is amazing.

Nicole:

We’re saying this, no joke, as my Podcast Producer right now is like, Well, can you improve hers? Because she stays late. He’s out here chuckling right now. Like, really? Really? Is that what your time management went? Because you must have given it all. I stay late for my podcast. Bless your heart. If you guys don’t know. My Podcast Producer Josh is just a saint. So he’s the one who can make sure that this gets to you every day. He’s amazing. So no, time management. Sure.

Alex:

You know, I’ve gotten a lot a lot more productive, you know, and just like organized and just like all these amazing things.

Nicole:

The Nicole Walters effect, people around me they make money, credit scores go up…

Alex:

What have I enjoyed? I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the fact that me and you can go anywhere, and it’s up party can go into any situation. And the best part is, I don’t have to say nothing. I just got to sit there and show them the role. And people will laugh and sit there and watch like a live TV show.

Nicole:

Oh my gosh, no. Which funny is amazing, because I love that whenever I go places with you in other environments, like you’re taking the lead, I can sit back and it’s like a good old time. You know what I mean? Like so no, that’s, that’s true. We have a lot of fun by ourselves. Like it’s completely unnecessary. We have such fun.

Alex:

But it’s really enjoyable. I can bring you any different environment and we know how to operate in each other’s space. We’ve talked about that before.

Nicole:

Yeah, that is a big one. Yeah.

Alex:

I mean, like, I can come into your work world and not act crazy and I brought you into mine.

Nicole:
And I can act like your girlfriend. I like it. Like people are like, Oh, what do you do? I’m like, nothing really?

Alex:
Yeah, literally. I always have to hype up what you do because you say nothing about it.

Nicole:
Yeah. I say I just hang out..

Alex:
I just do this and that.

Nicole:
I say I write a little bit here and there.

Alex:

I’m like, no, she has a podcast, she has a book coming out.

Nicole:
Yeah you gas me up.

Alex:
She has a financial firm. Like…

Nicole:

You’re so sweet. I love you so much, ya know? And then But then obviously, when, you know, you’re in my spaces, they’re like, oh, you know, what is he doing? You don’t understand? All the Grammys, Beyonce is 33. What does that even mean? Okay, he’s collected them all. Right, like, just so I because also I know your talent, you know what I mean? And I also know your work ethic. And if there’s anything I have learned from relationships, and from work and from clients, it’s that it’s not just about talent, it’s about work ethic, and no one can beat you there.

So, no, that’s a good one. I think that the thing I’ve enjoyed the most about our journey is the ease, like the ease and the peace. So, you know, whether that is, you know, because of previous experiences, or because of something unique to what we have, it just feels so easy, even though it isn’t easy. You don’t I mean? Like it’s hard to always be vulnerable, you know, with someone when you’ve had trust issues with vulnerability in the past, and it’s hard to, you know, really trust someone when life didn’t work out the way you thought it would, especially when, I mean, you know, how I am about the kid owes me we’ll talk about that next, but like, I’m crazy about my kids, like, I’m absolutely, utterly.

Alex:
Mamabear.

Nicole:
I’m a bear. I am a mama bear, like insane. And that includes you, you know what I mean? Like, I will get you together when it comes to my babies because I like, which has never been an issue. Honestly, thank god like, you were so so good with them. Like when I tell you of all the prayers answered, that’s one of the greatest, you know, aside from your face.

But that said, you know, like, I mean, I truly truly, truly, like it’s such an amazing experience, to be with someone that when I’m with them, it feels like home. Like I understand what people are saying, like, just feels comfortable. You know, and, and I think that that’s probably the thing I’ve enjoyed the most is that like, that’s grown over time, you know, like, I felt it right away. It was actually part of how I knew that this was something different because, you know, I’ve been in obviously relationships for 12 years and not necessarily felt like home. I felt like a renter. You know what I mean? Like, even though it was decorated to look like my place, I felt like I was renting the space, you know, and like now I feel like no, like I am an owner. This is my place. It feels like it was built for me. And that’s like, I don’t even know how to describe it. Like I don’t even know you know, I if you don’t if you’ve never felt it before, like I wish it for you.

Alex:
Right. And sometimes, it’s so funny because the things that make us think that are not always like the big things, it’s like a lot of tiny stuff. Like it makes me think of the first time we went grocery shopping together… <laughs>

Nicole:
Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh.

Alex:
You’re like, I don’t know is like, how is this gonna be okay, like, is this gonna be an issue? You know, and I was like, we’re just gonna grab a couple things.

Nicole:
I didn’t know how it was going to go. I didn’t know if it was going to be weird or if it was gonna be like, Oh my God, he’s gonna grab like crap food or or like, you know not to there’s good food or bad food, you know, for my nutritionist out there like, I don’t mean it that way. But if he’s gonna grab things I don’t like. Like we’re gonna walk through the pickle aisle and he’s gonna be like all of these. Like, oh, this in some mushrooms is a meal. Like, I don’t know how it’s gonna play out but it went really well.

Alex:

Really well. In that and that has kind of been the trend.

Nicole:

All the tiny moments, you know? Or like, I’ll make like a joke or you know, say something inappropriate or like, we’ll be out like, you know, in line and for the mamas listening with littles you know, we may get a little spicy from here forward, but like will be in line or something and you’ll like grab my butt and I’ll be like, oh, and I’ll be like, but that’s why I love him.

Like, you know, little things like that, you know, that are super cute, you know? And I’m like, I don’t know. It’s just, it’s comfortable? I just feel really comfortable. I feel like not only you know, can I be myself, you know with you completely but there’s just an ease there. Ya know like, I feel like I’m not just myself but I’m the best version of myself.

Alex:
That’s how it should be.

Nicole:
Which is great. I don’t have much to compare it to, you know, but based on previous experiences, it’s just, it’s really, really nice. What’s your favorite thing about Nicole? I liked this question. Shout out to get a call at the company that did it. Tropical shores popcorn. My favorite popcorn company in the world.

Alex:
It’s so good.

Nicole:
It’s so good. My favorite flavor is movie time. I also liked their kettle corn. What’s your favorite flavor?

Alex:
Caramel, so it’s so good. It’s fire.

Nicole:
If you haven’t had tropical shores popcorn, please go to tropical shores. popcorn.com Grab some. If you’ve seen on my social I am obsessed with them. They’re on Instagram at Tropical shores.

Alex:
It’s really good. I don’t even like popcorn like that. But it is good.

Nicole:

I’m not gonna lie to you. I didn’t like popcorn like that. And then during the pandemmy, I probably put on 22 pounds of Tropic Shores popcorn weight alone and get this without regret. I loved it. I loved it. And here’s another reason why I love them team pop, Mama pop, pop pop. You know baby pops. They all reach out and say what is your favorite thing about Nicole? Because they love me.

Alex:
That she gets free tropic shores. <laughs>

Nicole:

That’s right. That’s your favorite thing is that I come with unlimited popcorn. Right? No. I don’t get free tropical shores. You know I buy it right? I buy that popcorn. I buy it. It’s so good. I pay for it. I have probably, I’m not kidding.

Alex:
I thought they just sent it to you. <laughs>

Nicole:
No, I buy that popcorn. The reason why he thinks this is because I buy it like nine bags at a time. I buy it.

Alex:
And you always get swag from companies.

Nicole:
People send me free stuff all the time. I paid for that. They’re also small family owned businesses. And you know how I feel about that. No, I paid for that. Oh, everything I no joke probably spent. I would say no less than $5,000 in popcorn.

Alex:

You got a whole part of your budget, dedicated for popcorn.

Nicole:
Dedicated, and my annual popcorn budget allotment is 5k. Five to $10,000 depending on my emotion.

Alex:
That’s fair.

Nicole:
That’s fair. That math is mathing. So stop avoiding the question.

Alex:

<laughs> Favorite thing about Nicole.

Nicole:

Keep it appropriate or do I need to say headphone warning to the mamas?

Alex:

I’m filtering in my head right now. Because we’ve been together long enough, you know when you need to get ahead of it.

Nicole:
I know exactly what you’re about to say. I know exactly what to say. And like y’all, I’m telling I told you it could get spicy.

Alex:
No, my favorite thing about you… you’re just so easy to be around. And…

Nicole:

That’s so funny because that’s like the opposite of what people say. I’m a lot. I am a lot. I literally apologize for my a lot-ness on a regular basis.

Alex:

I mean, sure you’re a lot. I mean, yeah, it’s part of what I love. Yeah, but you’re easy to be around because I mean, you’re very level headed. You’re rational, you know?

Nicole:

That’s so annoying though, like the opposite of funny. People will be telling a joke and I’ll be like, I’m the one in the room like that’s not really scientifically aligned.

<both laugh>

Alex:

Right? Actually, there was a study…

Nicole:
There was a case study…

Alex:
If you would just bother to look it up. <laughs>

Nicole:

Literally I’m annoyed being with myself okay, I regularly I’m like can I get out of my own head? I’m the worst. Oh my gosh, no, that’s sweet. Thanks. Listen I’m telling you this is what people are talking about when they say like you’re lucky to be with the right person like I’m well matched with you because you look if you like it I love it because this is what it’s giving.

Alex:

Exactly. And you know, sometimes I can be more chilled but all in all I think we match each other’s energy pretty well.

Nicole:
Yeah, no. We definitely do. We do so well sometimes there are days where it’s like, like this morning like…

Alex:
You were just on one.

Nicole:
I was just on one. I still am. I still am.

Alex:

I’ve caught up. I needed to wake up and get there.

Nicole:
Y’all and I’ll just be like, what was I doing? I was calling you lover all morning. Lover!

Alex:
Lover!

<both laugh>

Alex:

And I’m just like waking up I’m like, why is this happened?

Nicole:
I will tell you, I love this about you. And maybe this is like I have a lot of favorite things about you but this would easily be one of them that I think of often one of my favorite things about you oh it almost makes me a little teary cuz I love you so much. Is that whenever you wake up the first thing you do is you smile. Like without fail you are a disproportionately, predisposed to joy person.

Alex:
That’s accurate.

Nicole:
Like it is like, your baseline setting is one of happiness.

Alex:
That’s accurate. I smile pretty much all the time.

Nicole:
Yeah, you are just a pleasant person. Like I mean, it doesn’t mean I have seen you angry you know before and it takes a lot to get you there. And you’re so good at communicating and like managing it, you know, but like, you’re like baseline setting is happy. And like, it’s so nice to be with someone who, when they wake up in the morning, literally looks over and smiles. Like it’s just like your default. And I’m just like, Why is he so damn happy? All the time.

Alex:
Cus I get to wake up and see you.

Nicole:

Oh, good answer.

Alex:

That was good. Right?

Nicole:
I saw it coming. I love you. And then what has being in this relationship taught you about yourself?

Alex:

Man, first thing that comes to mind is honestly that I am, I’m capable of a lot more than I give myself credit for?

Nicole:

Yes. Oh, my gosh, I could shout that one out for you. Like woohoo. So true. You’ve done so much. Like, the time I’ve been with you.

Alex:
I know. I mean, I’ve told you and I’m pretty, you know, open about it. You know, I mean, like, there’s always a voice in the back of your head. It’s like, oh, I’m only seen in this light. And therefore I can only accomplish X, Y and Z, you know what I mean? But like, the longer you know, we’ve been kind of, you know, doing this, the longer I’ve been exploring, you know, my options and thinking into things. And realizing and thinking about more of the things that I can do rather than things that I can’t, you know. I’ve just realized that I can do more than I think I can, and I’m capable of a lot more.

Nicole:
That’s so true. And you’ve done a lot like in our timeframe that we’ve been together, I’ve been so impressed with your growth, because one thing I love about you, and then I just, it’s so interesting, because when you’re dating is I’ve never obviously dated, you know, like I was, you know, I had one one or two boyfriends before my ex. And I got married, I got engaged within six months, like so I’m not one to just sort of date, date, or whatever. But one of the things I’ve noticed that I really admire about you is that, like, when you’re dating someone, it’s almost like you see them twofold, right? There’s my romantic partner, but you also need to like them, it’s the love and like factor, right?

So like, I love you, obviously, you know, like, you’re good to me, we’re good together, blah, blah, blah, like all that is great. And I’m attracted to you. But I like you too, you know, because like, I just like you as a person, you know, and it’s because I admire you so much. When you say you’re going to do something, you really do it. Like you try your best to actually do it.

Alex:

And, I mean I told you that that was an issue for me in the past.

Nicole:
And that is literally all I’ve ever known.

Alex:

I’ve said like, you know, I would say I’m gonna do this and that, and then I just, you know, wouldn’t a lot of the times, and that’s always bothered me that I was that way, and I didn’t want to be that way with you. And I think that’s one of the biggest things I’ve changed is like.

Nicole:
You said that when we first met.

Alex:
Yeah, I remember that it was me in the past. But you know, and it’s funny, because I’m thinking from the perspective now of all the listeners and the people, you know, consuming this right now. Like, how I mean, for all the listeners, like how motivated do you feel when you just listen to Nicole speak? Or when you hear one of her speeches or her things, the content she puts out? Imagine living with that. <laughs>

Nicole:

It’s got to be obnoxious. Literally, like I mean, tired of myself. I mean, not everything is a motivational speech.

Alex:

Not everything is, but also like having that constant reinforcement and positivity in your life. It does something for you.

Nicole:
I love you, I appreciate that. Thank you like, but I do think that what’s cool about our relationship and how it shows up in our relationship is we’re a solutions-focused household. You know what I mean? So it’s not like toxic positivity, where everything is like, oh, let’s bypass the emotion. Let’s not hold it as valid. It’s like, no, like, we feel crappy today. Like, I’ll have days, no joke, and you have lifted me up out of a puddle. I actually haven’t had any recently. It was kind of like a hump sort of, I think in the divorce process where it got really dark for a while.

Alex:
For sure.

Nicole:

But like, you know, if I have those days, on some level, you’ll say, hey, you know, it’s a crummy day. Let’s go get ice cream. Let’s, you know, sit and watch movies, let’s just be in a puddle. But some days you’re like, hey, I get that it’s a crummy day. We have work to do, you know what I mean?

Alex:

Right. I mean, because sometimes you jus,t you got to get your stuff done regardless.

Nicole:

And you’ll literally, there have been days where you have put your stuff on the side. I don’t want to cry about it. But like you’ve put yourself on the side, you’ve literally just walked me through my day of stuff I needed to do, like, I will drive you to this thing. We’re gonna get this task done.

Alex:

I’m like, don’t think about all this stuff just what’s the next thing? Oh this task, okay, just go do that.

Nicole:
That’s right. And like, I’ve never had anyone do that for me in my whole life. You know? And, like, it’s the definition of someone like literally being someone you can lean on, you know, and I can tell you that like, that has totally changed me, you know, and I mean, it has totally changed me so I know that you said like, oh, it’s motivating and all that but like the same way that I may be the verbal motivation in your life, you know, like you have been the physical manifestation of like carrying me when I couldn’t walk on my own. So I’m, like, super grateful for that.

Alex:
Of course, I luv you!

Nicole:
I luv you… Okay, so let’s do a couple q&a questions, you know, because I mean, we pretty much went through most of them. Yeah, they haven’t had and y’all if you have any more questions, feel free to submit them on Instagram, or just keep up with us. Like, we’re pretty like, open. I’m not kidding, I have nerves about sharing our relationship just because like, you know, you show your relationship and it’s like, public scrutiny and like, oh, you know, what, if things change.

Alex:

People gonna say what they’re gonna say anyway.

Nicole:
Yeah. And also, like, I don’t know, it’s just, it’s so cool being in love. And like, I literally don’t care, like what the future holds. Because this season right now is so great. You know what I mean? I feel so frickin lucky to like, be in a relationship with you and like to experience what this feels like. And it’s the type of thing where I’m like, if I only had this for, like, two years, or 10 years or five years, like, how cool is it that I got to experience it at all? You know?

Alex:

I mean, I know I’m gonna marry you, you know, but like…

Nicole:

You say it with such certainty. <laughs> I receive that.

Alex:

I am certain.

Nicole:
I receive that. It’s like you’re putting people are notice. AND.

Alex:
AND. <laughs> Anybody trying to slide into the DMs.

Nicole:

Slide into the DMS, it’s not happening.

Alex:

Denied. Denied, but no matter how it ends up, you know, we’re, I think we’re both better for it.

Nicole:
Yeah, which is what it’s about, you know, like, I really feel like I’m better for being with you. And it’s exciting because I’m like, I still get to be with him. You know, like, every day I really feel better for being with you. Even when we have disagreements cuz we fight you know, like, we’ll have disagreements about stuff. I think that I don’t know if you’ve noticed this, I’m gonna call it out. I don’t know if you’ve noticed this. But whenever we have fights, almost always we get to a stalemate where we’re like, we don’t like this. I don’t like this. This is dumb.

Alex:

Right? We might, we might still disagree, but we both just were just like, don’t like fighting.

Nicole:

We both become putty. Can we just go back? So what’s the thing? Let’s just figure it out. Because I love you. This is annoying.

Alex:

Right. Right.

Nicole:
Yeah, we just don’t like our like, this doesn’t feel good to be like, every single time. And it’s true, because it just like, like, we’re not gonna break up over this.

Alex:
Well, that’s the thing. It’s like, it’s like, okay, there is a solution. If we’re not gonna break over this, you know, if it’s a deal breaker, let’s just try it out. Let’s just figure it out, you know, and if not, then there’s that.

Nicole:
But I don’t think we’ve run into too many deal breakers. If anything, it’s always been like, this is a tough one. We need to figure this one out. You know, like this is important to me.

Alex:

We always figure it out. Because we just talk about it until, you know, until it solve,

Nicole:
Which is the hard part too. Sometimes I’m like, I feel like I’m so tired. I’m sorry for this. But yeah, it’s always worth it. Yeah. Alright, so I’m gonna ask some rapid firey questions there or questions. So it’s like, okay, this or this. Okay, okay. Sleep in or rise early?

Alex:

Well, I mean, I would prefer to sleep in but I have been a very frequent rising early person.

Nicole:
It’s funny I used to sleep in till like noon or one.

Alex:

Because I had crazy insomnia. And I would stay up to like six in the morning sometimes.

Nicole:
You were playing video games.

Alex:
No, no. I just had insomnia. But my sleep hygiene has improved vastly.

Nicole:
Yeah, it’s crazy.

Alex:
And so I go to bed earlier and I wake up earlier and so early rise.

Nicole:

Yeah, early rise and also like, Y’all don’t may not know this, but like he has taken point on all things physical parenting, like when I tell you I’m in for the activity days, but I do like what I call like the latent parenting and like, not, like not implying that it’s not critically important, but like, I’m doing paperwork, filing, doctor’s appointments, stuff like that cooking, you know, meal prep, making sure stuffs together, working on assignments, asking questions, like that type of stuff, but he does all the schlepping back and forth to school and like playdates and like activities and like errand. Like that is all this guy like he is full on hands on pick up drop off like champion and I so appreciate you for that. But hence the rise early. That is that.

Alex:

Yeah I mean that’s a good reason to get up in the morning. You know, take the kids to school, go to the gym, go to work.

Nicole:

She loves your school time. She always told me like in the car Alex said, Alex said.

Alex:
Yeah we have our morning talks.

Nicole:
Read a book or watch TV?

Alex:

Well, I’ve been trying to read more.

Nicole:
You have been reading more.

Alex:
I have been reading more. And I do enjoy watching TV.

Nicole:
Yeah, we do. We do shows in the evening. It’s part of our routine.

Alex:
I mean, honestly, if it’s like entertainment to zone out. I’d choose TV.

Nicole:

Kiss or hug?

Alex:

I like a good hug.

Nicole:

Really? I thought you’d pick kiss.

Alex:

I really enjoyed a hug.

Nicole:
I’m really surprised by that.

Alex:

I don’t know. But really…

Nicole:

I guess hugs are universal, you can get more of them.

Alex:

I guess I don’t know.

Nicole:
Like everyone can give you a hug. Not everyone can give you a kiss. You can even get a hug from a dog.

Alex:

And it feels really good though doesn’t it.

Nicole:

I heard that hugging dogs isn’t good. It makes them panicked. It gives them anxiety.

Alex:
Don’t tell me that, I’m never gonna hug them again. <laughs>

Nicole:
Why are you squeezing my body? It makes a lot of sense. If someone just came and grabbed your midsection and squeezed it and you didn’t understand.

Alex:
They’re just looking at you like, dude…

Nicole:

Right? It’s crazy. Strength workout or cardio?

Alex:
Strength.

Nicole:
Ocean or lake?

Alex:
Ocean.

Nicole:
Isn’t it nice living in California because we don’t have to choose?

Alex:
Exactly.

Nicole:
Winter or summer?

Alex:
Summer.

Nicole:
Family or friends?

Alex:
Family.

Nicole:

Something you’ve always wanted when you were a child, but never had? I have an answer for this.

Alex:
You have an answer for this?

Nicole:
Yeah, on the count of three let’s say what we think it is. Do you know? 1,2,3… <silence> <laughs>

I was going to say it but you didn’t. Okay do you have something in your mind to see if we say the same thing? Something you always wanted when you were a child but never had… I’m gonna zip it into your brain. Okay, so now, we’re gonna say it. Do you have something in your head that you’re gonna say?

Alex:
Well, I’m just gonna say the first thing that comes to mind.

Nicole:
Okay. All right. Perfect. 123 cable TV.

Alex:

Six pack. <laughs>

Nicole:
Six pack? You wanted a six pack when you were six?

Alex:
Yeah. I’m a man.

Nicole:

Cable TV?

Alex:

I got cable.

Nicole:

I know. But you always wanted it when you’re a child. But you never had it.

Alex:
I got it in high school.

Nicole:
Yeah, but you didn’t have it when you were a child. It was a sore spot.

Alex:

I have experienced the answer to the question…

Nicole:
You talk about it all the time. Okay, if I were in the witness protection program, what would my nickname be?

Alex:

Mine or yours?

Nicole:
Mine? Well, if I were in the witness protection program, what would my nickname be?

Alex:

Your nickname?

Nicole:

MC paper stacks. My DJ name, MC paper stacks. That’s me!

Alex:

I could not have come up with something better. That’s it.

Nicole:
Literally my name. Like if I’m president.

Alex:
My God.

Nicole:

MC paper sacks on air force one. That’s right. Listen, wait and see.

Alex:
That’s it.

Nicole:
Oh, these are so good. Okay, if I could resurrect a famous person who would I choose? Or would you choose? If a famous person, recently deceased.

Alex:
Is the question for you?

Nicole:
Lee Thompson Young. Jet Jackson. Is my one of my favorite Disney movies. And keep going. 

Alex:

Wow.

Nicole:
If I could travel back in time, where would I go? Keep in mind that I’m black. <laughs> So not very far is the answer. Yes. It’d be it’d be a very local trip in time.

Alex:

Right.

Nicole:
Where?

Alex:

We’re so where would you go to travel back in time?

Nicole:
Not that far. I don’t think so. Maybe the 90s The 90s are really good.

Alex:

You go back oh yeah, probably go back to the 90s.

Nicole:

Oh my god federal surplus laws. So California. Yeah. Oh my gosh, yeah. Federal Surplus. Pretty good. All the clothing is the same. These kids don’t know.

Alex:
Right.

Nicole:
I love these because these are all questions from the internet. What would I be willing to do for a million dollars? Not much. A million dollars doesn’t impress me much. I mean, there’s stuff I would do for a million dollars like I’d write a book. Yes, I did. <laughs> What else do I do for a million dollars? Launch a business. Did! What else would I do for a million dollars?

Alex:

A TV show?

Nicole:
Did! <laughs> But yeah, no. I mean, like, you know, yeah, yeah. There’s a lot I’d say no to for a  million dollars. It’s funny because whenever I watch like shows, like true crime shows and people are like, oh, yeah, he that he agreed to murder his business partner for $7,000 I’m like, what? I was like people need to know their worth. What is this low rate?

Alex:
People have gotten murdered over $20/

Nicole:
$20 on the street like from someone who’s not mentally well, it’s so different from someone saying no, I I am a contract killer for $7,000. Sir, do you know how much lawyers are? At least charge what your what your legal fees will be if you need to get away with this crime sir.

Alex:
I love how you’re still thinking about the logistics, overhead of that business of being a contract killer. <laughs>

Nicole:

The type of person I am…

Alex:
You’ll need insurance. You’re gonna need a legal team just in case.

Nicole:
Supply, labor.

Alex:
Bullets can’t be cheap.

Nicole:

Your profit and loss statement needs to be tight. Okay, you need to know what these expenses are. And when I was younger growing up when I watched the Godfather, I didn’t want to be the godfather. I wanted to be the consigliere. Like I wanted to be the person next to him managing the books, right? That’s the person actually in charge. Chief of Staff, right? That’s right. That’s right. If I were home on a rainy Sunday afternoon, what movie would I be likely to watch?

Alex:

What movie? Well, for one you don’t really watch too many movies.

Nicole:

That’s the answer. That’s what I would have said. What would I be watching though?

Alex:
Love after… <speaking over each other> we said the same thing, we’re so alike, it’s crazy!

Nicole:
What would you like to be spending more time on?

Alex:

Music, always.

Nicole:
Yeah, that sounds like you. Yeah. What’s my favorite color?

Alex:
Yellow.

Nicole:
Good job.

Alex:

Easy.

Nicole:

Do I have any allergies?

Alex:
Nope. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from our excursions.

Nicole:

Listen, that is what happens if you live in LA. I don’t think you can walk in any place that they’re like, Are there any food allergies that we need to know about? That’s like, like a very like California question. Right? Right. Right in the South. They’re like, we have three things on the menu. Pick one.

Alex:

Right. It’s gotten to the point I’ll sit down and it’s like, you will have this, also no food allergies. We just get in front of it.

Nicole:

Even better. If you’re like, Yeah, I have a gluten allergy. They’re like, Okay, is it cross contamination?

Alex:
Right. They know alot about it.

Nicole:
What is my zodiac sign?

Alex:

I have no idea. I really don’t know.

Nicole:
When is my birthday?

Alex:
November 6.

Nicole:
Okay, good. As long as you know that, right?

Alex:

I don’t know.

Nicole:
What do I do in my free time?

Alex:

You don’t have free time.

Nicole:

That’s right! I really don’t. I use it all.

Alex:

It’s law and order, Love after lockup, 90 Day fiance,

Nicole:
Even then I’m probably working.

Alex:
Yeah doing stuff for them sprinkled in.

Nicole:
What’s my favorite food?

Alex:
Well…

Nicole:
I like a lot of foods. I’m uh, you can talk about my food habits. I am. I don’t know if anyone knows this, I’m weird. Like, I’m difficult.

Alex:

You are very particular, very particular about your food.

Nicole:
Why is that?

Alex:

You have a very refined palate.

Nicole:
Because I cook!

Alex:
Because you cook and to your credit, your food is amazing.

Nicole:
I mean, do you know what. My was-band said it was the one thing he’d miss. <laughs> I was like DANG.

Alex:
I mean, it’s it’s really good. Like, it’s really exceptionally good.

Nicole:
Thank you.

Alex:

Um, but your favorite food. I mean, when we first started dating we established that our favorite food is beef ribs.

Nicole:

That’s true barbecue, which is barbecue.

Alex:
But we don’t really have it that much. Honestly, if I had to say your favorite food, I might, because of how frequently you request it, I might say Thai.

Nicole:

I love Thai food. It’s also because I have been, even though I know that there’s a whole Thai town. I just don’t think I found the right Thai here. But overall, I’ve been very like iffy on my LA Asian cuisine.

Alex:

Anna Jack Thai shout out.

Nicole:
Yeah shoutout. I wish we hadn’t done that shout out now. Like it matters. Anyway, so good. But um, but yeah, like it’s just I you know, I’ve had to learn to make a lot of my favorites just because of that.

What day of the week do we meet for the first time?

Alex:

I feel like it was like, the middle of the week. Was it was like a Wednesday?

Nicole:

Wednesday. Wednesday, Wednesday. Anyway, good job. What’s the first thing I do in the morning when I wake up?

Alex:
Annoy me. <laughs> I’m just kidding.

Nicole:
No, you’re not.

Alex:
No, that was just this morning.

Nicole:

But what’s the first thing I do?

Alex:
First thing you do? Roll over, we usually look at each other or first position.

Nicole:

Ah! I was wondering if you would say it!

Alex:

First position.

Nicole:

We have cuddle positions and we’ve numbered them. There’s number one through four.

Alex:
That’s right.

Nicole:

So first position is him spooning me.

Alex:

Right. I’m the big spoon.

Nicole:
Yeah second position is me in the pocket, with me laying on his chest. Third position is me spooning you.

Alex:
Right. I turn into a little spoon.

Nicole:

That’s right. What’s fourth position? They’re really isn’t a fourth position.

Alex:

Us facing each other?

Nicole:
Maybe I guess but that’s not really a cuddle position. I guess we have three positions.

Alex:
I guess.

Nicole:
It’s always first position though, it’s always almost always first position. Yeah, if it’s our first position I’m like livid.

Alex:

Right.

Nicole:
I’m like this does not work.

Alex:

Wake up, first position. Yeah.

Nicole:

All right, next question. When it comes to the baby question. How do you feel? Do you want kids?

Alex:
I do.

Nicole:
That was quick. How many kids do you want?

Alex:

I think two would be nice.

Nicole:
Boys or girls? Or one of each?

Alex:

I think girls. I think I think I don’t know. I kind of want one of each because I do want like one boy. But I think a girl I think like you said I’m a girl, Dad.

Nicole:
You are a girl da, you’re a very good girl dad. 

Alex:
Yeah, I think the girl is probably easier.

Nicole:
I’m sure, we’ll see. No matter what I think I mean you’ll be an excellent Dad, like literally, I seriously hope I get the privilege of caring and having your babies. But whomever you are with, whatever that looks like in the future for you. They’re going to be very lucky to have such an excellent man as a father of their children.

Alex:

Wow. Thank you.

Nicole:
Yep. You are an excellent man. Like that is, without question. It’s really nice to be with something I’m not kidding. I admire you as an independent person. Like you are just an excellent human. The world is better because you’re in it. Who was your childhood best friend?

Alex:

Childhood best friend? Shout out Adolfo.

Nicole:

Adolfo. How do you avoid conflict with me?

Alex:

I am working on certain things. We are pretty good about avoiding conflict mostly.

Nicole:
I don’t think we avoid it. I think we just address it.

Alex:
We address it and deal with it. But you know, I do have to keep in mind that I know you’re on my team.

Nicole:
Yes. Yeah, I know. Because honestly, that’s a trigger for me. Yeah. Because I mean, like, it’s crazy. Because the one thing I mean, you do so many things that offset and have healed me from things that were triggers before. But that is one thing that was a major trigger for me before not feeling like I was on the same team with my partner, that you also have that like we just have to work on. Yeah, you know what I mean? Because what’s nice, though, is you affirm me and our relationship in so many other ways that even when that trigger flares up, I’m like, Nope, I know who I’m with. You know what I mean? And I know that this is just independent to this situation, emotion, this feeling. It’s not reflective of like how he is.

Alex:
Yeah, for sure.

Nicole:
But that one’s tough.

Alex:
Yeah, that was tough. But um, yeah, I mean, we don’t actively try to avoid conflict. If it arises, we just deal with it. You know, we don’t usually because we get along, and we see eye to eye on a lot of things. But when we don’t we just deal with it.

Nicole:
Hammer it out. And when we don’t, I mean, we really don’t like literally we’ll be looking at each other like, are you crazy? And you’ll be like, yes.

Alex:
I’m like, no, no, you don’t understand.

Nicole:

Really, though, and I’m like, I’m like, You can’t be serious. Yes. I’ll be looking at you like you are not, there is no possible way that you really believe this. I mean, this is really how we’ll talk to each other. I’m like, You can’t be serious. I’m dead serious. And I’m like, No, I was like, no, no, no. In my head. I’m like, No, we about to not be together because this doesn’t make any damn sense. He is nuts. Absolutely. Oh, my gosh, so funny. So okay, we’re gonna wrap up here, because we have a very special thing to go do from here, that we’ll be sharing more about later, because we are in the midst of planning cool new things for our life.

And so we’ve got a lot to share about that in the future. And hopefully, Alex will come back and share more about that. But before we go, you have anything that you want to say words of wisdom, kind of things that we’ve brought you back to the pod?

Alex:

Well, it’s also cool to like, be on this podcast. You know, I enjoy our talks. Yeah. I don’t know. I think for everyone listening and wondering if they’re gonna find their person, you know, their person that you know, like, you will and it will happen, you just have to be honest with yourself and be honest with your partner and you know, and you’ll find, you know, people will look at us and be like, Wow, you guys are so like, good. It gives us hope and stuff like that.

Nicole:
People do that in real life and it’s so affirming and nice, because I’m not gonna lie. One of the things I’ve always struggled with was my previous partnerships, all my friends, all my family, all my peers, anyone who got to know me would always say, it feels like there’s a mismatch, like we’re sensing discontent. We’re sensing that, you know, there’s something here that’s not fitting into the mismatch wasn’t again, it’s not a feeling of either party. It’s just, you know, round peg in the square hole, you know what I mean? It just didn’t go together. And, you know, even if something is 97% right, you know, it just isn’t, you know, and it’s so nice being with you. Because when we go places, like, when we share news of a new chapter in our relationship, other people are excited for us.

Alex:

Yeah. And I love seeing and, you know, you’ve told me a lot of comments of other women who have kids and are finding difficult to date and stuff and yeah, you know, for those women, you know, in those situations, like, you know, you’ll find your person because whoever’s with you will find that you’re worth it.

Nicole:
Absolutely.

Alex:

You know what I mean?

Nicole:
But you also have to believe it yourself.

Alex:

And you have to believe it yourself. And so once you do, like, it’ll just happen. You know.

Nicole:
That’s so good. I’m so grateful you happened to me. I love you.

Alex:

I love you too.